Journal

April 2, 2026

Hey y'all! It's been a few cold, shitty months but thought I would share some updates now that life feels real and not like being trapped inside a snow globe again.

As you may know, Dan and I finally, FINALLY took our honeymoon trip to Seville, Spain. We were there from March 21 (flew out on the evening of the 20th) until the 29th and had such a great experience. It was both our first time leaving the country for a trip and also visiting a place where English is not the main language. We did a great job of packing our days full of cool activities including touring a castle (Real Alcazar), visiting art museums, and sampling many delicious foods.I have uploaded a preponderance of pictures (and maybe also a video or 2, I forget if I took any) on my Google Drive which will be linked in the email I send about our trip! Below, some highlights to go along with the albums in the drive:

1) Real Alcazar de Sevilla - we visited this on the Monday of our trip, as on Mondays admission is free! This was a breathtaking historic palace with many gardens and beautiful architecture. Much to our surprise and delight there were so many peacocks, ducks and cats roaming around (I was particularly enthusiastic about the ducks, as they are one of my favorite animals). It felt like we could have spent another 2 hours there and still not have seen everything there was to see. On the 2nd floor of the main building, there was a whole exhibit about the history of the tile work in the palace dating back centuries. Tile featured very heavily throughout the entire trip and left one of the biggest impressions on me. I even drew a few tiles I took photos of in my sketchbook.

2) Palacio de Las Dueñas - This is another Palace belonging to the House of Alba. When we visited, there was a special exhibition on Duchess Cayetana Fitz James-Stuart; based on the exhibit, she struck me as Spain's Jackie Kennedy (in fact, they were friends with each other) - she was a patron of the arts, a painter and flamenco dancer herself, as well as a style icon. She lived in this Palacio until her death in 2014. Like Real Alcazar, this Palacio is centuries old and filled with gorgeous gardens, architecture, and artwork.

3) Museo de Bellas Artes - This art museum contained many very Catholic works of art, both 2D and 3D. The wooden angel sculptures you see were made specifically for a hospital that no longer exists. The building containing the museum's galleries was once a convent and the art inside was from Spain's Baroque period.

4) Centro Andaluz de Arte Contemporáneo (CAAC) - We called this museum experience a "Walking W" because we didn't know it existed and happened upon it on a walk. To be frank, this museum blew Bellas Artes, already a beautiful and historic museum in its own right, out of the water: the museum is housed inside what was formerly a 15th century monastery (the tombs you see in the album are the deceased Ribisi family) that then became a bottle factory, Pickman's, which opened due to a British industrial interest the clay-rich deposits on the Guadalquivir river. The history atop history in this museum made the more transgressive and modern political works of art even more impressive. We saw galleries of the large-scale modernist works of Virginia Chihota, the Italian Renaissance-inspired paintings of Italian-Ethiopian artist Jem Perucchini, the amazing mechanical sculptures of Cachito Vallés, all incorporated into this very impressive architecture. The grounds contained orchards of olives, pomelos, and oranges.

5) Plaza de España - This was basically Seville's city hall but the building was very awe-inspiring to visit. It was built in the 1920s but feels much older and grander than that! Outside of the stately, huge arch-shaped building was a moat traversed by many little footbridges that you could row a boat in from one side to the other (much to my excitement, this moat had ducks too!) There were tile benches depicting different Spanish cities lining the wall of the plaza. There was also a large park next to it where a man was playing ABBA songs unaccompanied on the trumpet.

6) The food - I would rate my overall culinary experiences in Spain to be a 6.5-7/10. I had some of the best, most memorable, and worst, most infamous food samplings of my life, maybe. I was most excited to try the breakfast item, churros con chocolate (in Spain, churros are not coated in cinnamon and sugar, but more closely resemble a funnel cake or homemade beignet in terms of fry quality, and the chocolate you dip it in is like a thin pudding) which didn't disappoint; paella de mariscos (seafood paella) was good, but better on my mind's tongue - maybe the pan we had was a little underseasoned? The seafood in it was quite good though. Two items that were sadly so vile that it ruined getting sweet pastries on our trip entirely were un gofre (waffle) con Nutella from an otherwise well-renowned breakfast spot in Sevilla that was so hard that I had to saw through it with my knife and couldn't finish 1/3 of it as it was completely rock solid and inedible, as well as a pistachio cinnamon bun that was literally half raw and even the little bit I had made me queasy for the first part of the day. Ugh!

While on our trip I really wanted to try jamón ibérico de bellota, which is cured ham from a pig that was fed a diet of just acorns and sliced really thin, and that was so richly salty that it needed almost no accompaniment (I did eat some olives that were part of the table service.) We also had plenty of queso de oveja (sheep cheese) sliced thin with crumbly glutamate crystals throughout. One place even gave us a cup of raspberry marmalade to dip our cheese into and I think I may have to eat cheese this way for the rest of my life. Spain did ham and cheese and bread and every combination thereof very well. That is not to speak of the orange juice, which was so perfectly acidic, sweet and flavorful, the perfect complement to our more savory breakfasts, namely the montadito de pringá, a sandwich on a crusty roll that has a savory pork stew on it that's eaten at breakfast and lunch.

I will also say, food and drink were quite affordable, which is great considering how long you're expected to eat for! We happened upon a Mexican spot (lol) that had €1 tacos and €4 margaritas that we went back to even though the line both times was out the door (for reference, €4 is a little under $5 USD). Their Cochinita de Pibil tacos were real standouts as the meat was marinated with Sevillan oranges, which are inedible as hand-fruits but grew fucking everywhere you turned practically and made the air ambiently smell like the Lush store. I had their lime margarita the first night and their mango the second night. Both were quite delicious (mango a bit moreso) and were nicely drunkening. As we were expected to order multiple small dishes at meals, it helps that we didn't pay more than €5-6 per tapas-sized plate. I will also shout out specifically Horno Nueva Florida, a bakery near Museo de Bellas Artes, for their very simple and cheap bocadillo with some of the best cured ham, freshest bread, and the just-right amount of olive oil that made walking an average of 10-11 miles a day a lot easier.

7) Thoughts and remarks on general vibes - It took us pig Americans a day or 2 to adjust to the Sevillan culture of chilling the fuck out, eating and getting tastefully loaded. Our schedule became as follows: Wake up and get dressed, leave to do stuff at 10-10:30, eat breakfast until 12:30-1, walk around for a few hours, back to the hotel to rest (sometimes that meant a nap, but most times that meant just chilling indoors with our outside pants off for a little while) from about 4-6, get dressed again to go to dinner at 6:30, maybe even get a second dinner, drink, dessert, etc while we're out, and then get back for bed at 11:30. It was very common to see people walking their dogs off-leash (these were some very well-trained dogs and would stay by their owners without assistance) and there were lots of folks hanging out in parks, at the river, and at restaurants at all hours of the day seemingly. We were warned ahead of the trip that 'lots of places' would be closed on Sundays but we didn't find that to be super accurate.

We found that our Spanish language skills took us further than expected and we had a majority of our conversations in Spanish, but could fall back on English if we hit a barrier of expertise (repetir más lentamente, por favor) if needed. Even having done a half hour or so of Spanish flash cards every day for four months to prepare (I took some Spanish classes in middle and high school and so did Dan) I had to rehearse questions, phrases, restaurant orders, etc before actually saying them aloud.

As someone who grew up and lived in the Northeastern US my whole life, Seville was also one of the most deeply Catholic places I've ever visited. There were many cathedrals, religious statues and mosaics, and shrines dedicated to saints practically everywhere you turned. As we happened to visit one week ahead of Semana Santa (Easter week) the smell of burning incense was nearly inescapable. Seville, like much of Europe, is history built atop history, where you can see unearthed Roman ruins beneath a well-traversed market, which itself is beneath the largest manmade wooden structure in the world, Las Setas (completed in 2011.) It was funny to see Kei trucks whipping around the tight little street corners (grids did not exist at the time that Seville came to be) and teens skateboarding next to the Torre del Oro on the Guadalquivir. The biggest takeaway from my trip is that everyone contributes to history where they live, whether they mean to or not, whether the effects can be felt immediately or years, decades, centuries down the line.

Thanks for sticking around and kicking around. Next time you hear from me, I'll have 2 new tattoos over my bisalp scars :) he he bye!~

January 12, 2026

(WARNING: Graphic descriptions of my surgical recovery, blood and shit and stuff. Don't read this one if you're squeamish or if you had some sort of delusion that this story wouldn't be nasty at some point! Sorry.)

When I woke up from the procedure, the nurse attending to me started asking me questions to get an idea of how oriented I was. Immediately I started talking to her about the bands I'm in and how much I love music. Typical!

I looked down and saw my incisions, which were 2 small ones, about half an inch apiece, on either side of my lower abdomen and a deeper incision inside of my belly button. The two side incisions were sealed with surgical glue and pasted over with bandages, which I had to change daily and could take off after 7 days. The incision in my belly button was covered by a 2x2" square of medical mesh/plastic, which I was advised not to remove for a few days as well. I remember feeling nauseous and telling the nurse, so she brought me a pack of peanut butter crackers and some water and a Percocet. The cracker was so dry, it took me several minutes to eat half of one, at which point I asked if there was something else I could eat. She brought me a cup of applesauce right away and asked me questions about who was picking me up and how I was feeling. At one point she said something funny and I laughed at it, and in the act of laughing from my belly I felt a huge gush of blood come out of me. She brought me some surgical granny panties and put a diaper-sized pad inside of it for me. I was also prescribed extra-strength Tylenol and Ibuprofen with the advice to call in for an opiate pain reliever if needed.

I was brought back to patient holding and wasn't allowed to be discharged until I successfully took a piss, just to make sure the surgeons didn't fuck up my other organs in the process of taking my tubes. I was able to walk around and dress myself after the surgery, which was a big surprise to me, but I knew my husband was waiting outside in the car for me and I needed to take this very crucial piss. Reader, the amount of blood I saw on the paper was concerning, but thankfully none of it came from my urine, which meant I was allowed to leave. Another staff member wheeled me out to my husband's car. I asked him to bring my weed vape, my childhood teddy bear, and one of the many plant-based protein shakes I picked up at the grocery store the weekend before with him. He drove me home and helped me up the stairs to our porch, where I immediately slumped onto the couch. Dan got me set up on the couch with comfy pillows and my heating pad and asked me what I wanted or needed, which is when I asked him to please make me a microwaveable mac and cheese, and I ate the whole box in 8 flat minutes. I was very surprised that my appetite was totally normal after surgery; again, I was fully expecting to have a poor appetite, but the whole recovery process my appetite was quite healthy, as well as my sleep, which is exactly what I did after eating my mac.

The next several days involved me using my arms to stand up and sit down a lot. One of the things I heard a lot in the many testimonials I watched on YouTube from people who have had a bisalp was that the gas from the laparoscopy would get trapped in your abdominal cavity and gather in your shoulders as it tried to escape. When I tell you this was the second most uncomfortable part of the recovery, please try to imagine having a burp that is stuck, and then try to imagine that the burp is stuck inside your shoulder.The first most uncomfortable part, you ask? The HORRENDOUS constipation. I was advised that there would be some constipation after due to the drugs I was given (namely, the Percocet I had in the hospital upon waking up from the procedure) and got some laxatives to help, but I was actually fighting for my fucking life in the bathroom on day 2 of healing. I couldn't push because my abdominal wall muscles had been cut, so I had to wiggle around on the toilet for an hour and a half to get my digestive system moving again. Other than this, I spent a lot of time staying hydrated and fed and relaxing on the couch watching movies. I would message Dan, who was working from home upstairs, if I needed anything, including help walking to another part of the house or up the stairs. It turns out you use your ab muscles for a lot of things. I couldn't wait until I could cough, sneeze, or laugh without worrying I was going to pop open like a can of biscuits.

Also during this time, friends would come to visit me and watch movies and stuff, which I hazily and gratefully remember, but I did fall asleep while hanging out a few times. Who could blame me? My body was repairing itself and I needed to rest. I remember eating oxtail lo mein from the soul food/American Chinese fusion restaurant and falling asleep watching The Beekeeper, and another time a good friend brought a bunch of veggies and chips and cheese and made a huge pan of nachos for us to share, another friend across the country bought me a meal on DoorDash. I also heard from lots of friends congratulating me for my decision and wishing me the best in recovering from my surgery.

To be continued...

January 8, 2026

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my bilateral salpingectomy (bisalp). I wanted to write a bit about the process and my thoughts in the year since I had my procedure.

Growing up, I never had any sort of interest in child rearing whatsoever. My mother would say "she doesn't have a nurturing bone in her body" (ouch) because I preferred to play with fashion dolls and art supplies and baby dolls never interested me. When the neighborhood kids would play House, I was the older sister, the spinster aunt, or the cat. None of my future plans at any point included birthing children. I have worked with and cared for several kids over the course of my life and never thought, aw, I could do this all the time. Parenthood is also the sort of thing that, to me, I could never be ambivalent about. If I'm not sure if I don't want a child, I shouldn't have one. And so, when I found out that there were permanent sterilization options available, I became immediately interested, but when I told "trusted adults" in my life that getting my tubes tied was something I wanted to do, they trotted out the same damn thing I'm sure tons of people who have opted for permanent sterilization have heard: "But what if you change your mind?"

I began taking oral birth control in early 2012 after entering my first "serious" relationship. That was my first big relief as I was sexually active for the two years previous, but the fear of becoming pregnant due to a failure of the birth control or the condom or both always lingered in my mind. At 26, I asked my gynecologist about "getting my tubes tied" and immediately he said he wouldn't recommend "a young healthy person" for the procedure. It was really disappointing as I had a really friendly perception of him for the prior 7 years that I had been his patient. I asked him the subsequent 3 years as well, until his retirement, when I'd have to find a new gynecologist. During this time, the Supreme Court overturned Roe as well, spurring along my need to get the process going.

As soon as I switched doctors in 2024, I was able to at least even get information on who to call and how to schedule a bisalp. The NP I spoke with was so knowledgeable and answered my questions well. In November 2024, I had my consultation with the surgeon who would be performing the procedure and I scheduled the surgery for January 7. I didn't feel safe to tell my family I was doing this, but my chosen family and my husband couldn't have been more supportive of my decision and every passing day til the surgery my resolve grew stronger that this was what I needed to do. Isn't that funny? I heard for so long that I'd change my mind. I never wavered once.

I had some preparations and sacrifices to make. I couldn't smoke for the week leading up to the surgery which was tough, especially with the New Year holiday interfering. I wasn't sure how my eating and sleeping would be affected by recovery (I totally thought it would be one or the other, if not both) so I nested a few supplies to help me during recovery, namely a heating pad and a whole bunch of dairy-free protein shakes. Microwaveable mac and cheeses from Trader Joe's. A trip to the dispensary for the day after surgery. I got my ducks in a row at work and got a plan for coverage together while I recovered (Tuesday-Friday out, next Monday-Wednesday work from home if possible) and Dan used some PTO and work from home time at work to take care of me. Though the universe somewhat conspired against me and sent a big snowstorm the day before when I had to get my preop labs drawn, I would have made it to the lab even if I had to slide on my ass on some ice all the way there. I couldn't miss this for the world!

Then, the big day came. My arrival time was an eye-watering 7:15 AM, meaning having to get up at 5:30, get dressed and get my shit together to go to the hospital, and then take the El ~20 minutes if SEPTA behaves, and having to walk through the crunchy, wet new snow to get there. I wished I could close my eyes and materialize in the waiting room, but before I knew it, we arrived and checked in. Much sooner than I thought, the concierge appeared to escort me to the surgical suite. I think he must have seen me give Dan a look like, "oh shit, I guess this is goodbye," because he instantly reassured me that I'd be taken care of and everything would be okay.

In the surgical suite, I was given a wipe to clean my whole body as well as a gown, bonnet, and grippy socks. Being me, I immediately started brainstorming what I'd like to do with the socks after I left. A nurse came to check my vitals and give me Gabapentin and an antinausea patch, and a little while later the anesthesiologist put a line in my arm. The line insertion was the only time I cried during this process, because it felt like now there was really no turning back, but after the Gaba settled in, I was sending DMs to Rudy Giuliani's official social media accounts telling him to "kiss my piss". My surgeon came over to greet me and tell me it was time to go back to the OR. They asked if I'd like a wheelchair, but I said no, I'll walk (again, this is who I am, haha.) And I did, I walked my damn self over to the OR and sat my ass on the table and that's the last thing I remember before waking up.

To be continued...

December 28, 2025

Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you are all having a nice post-celebratory garbage time til 2026. I had a very chill holiday that consisted of going to my grandparents' for brunch and then dinner with my parents at their house with Dan. If you know me, I spend very little time with my blood family for a lot of reasons and I was steeling myself to spend my time off with people who I don't like all that much, but everyone was mellow and we had a very normal time. After Christmas, I baked a pineapple upside-down cake and sliced some up to give to my BFFs as gifts. It was delicious!

This year, Dan and I only had a few gifts to exchange as we are gearing up to take our long-postponed honeymoon to southern Spain in a few months. We are very excited and I hope to share more details of our plans with you soon!